Readers refute men’s views of women

Dear Abby: I’d like to respond to “Ready To Bail in New Jersey” (Sept. 1), which complained about women being on their phones all the time. Does this man have any idea how much information and communication is now being shared electronically? Business emails, school emails, group texts about various kids activities and even running errands all on a phone.
This is 2022. Women have a lot to do in their lives and we use our phones to accomplish most things. We don’t constantly scroll through social media. Perhaps the women he referred to try to avoid contact with him because of his ridiculous view of women. -Michelle in Illinois

Dear Michelle: I warned “Ready” that my readers would have a lot to say about his letter and whether he is indeed a misogynist. Well, you all made it through – in great numbers. Read more:

Dear Abby: If you start a sentence stating that you’re not a misogynist, you probably are. In that man’s case, make that final. Also, if I had to put up with his company, I’d be on my phone and calling an Uber to take me out of there. —Emily in Texas

Dear Abby: I agree with “Ready”, but it’s not just women who do this. People of both genders are constantly on their phones and oblivious to what is going on around them. I am a mother of three small children and I love to organize play dates with other parents and children. Rarely are the other parents interested in long chats or watching our children play. They prefer taking photos for social media and scrolling through their phone. I get it – we are all tired and longing for rest. Still, I have the feeling that a good interlocutor is hard to find. Sometimes I wish this technology didn’t exist. I long for a deeper connection with other people.— Cassie in Maryland

Dear Abby: If I was talking man to man I would say “Ready” he has no real understanding of women. Whether he is by definition a misogynist or not, his view of women is based solely on stereotypes and tropes. Most telling was his statement about “shopping, which is a female addiction.” What a ridiculous perception, no different than saying that all men are only interested in beer and sex.

My advice to him on finding a partner is to start with the basics. Make sure you look well-groomed and that your clothes are ironed, clean and fit well. You must be able to connect as a person. Can you talk intelligently about your work, interests, passions and goals? Can you ask questions about these topics, listen to the answers, and engage in a caring conversation? If you can do that, the person is more likely to put their phone down and pay attention to you, all to build a relationship with you. — Brent in California

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at

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